Thursday, June 3, 2010


Written by: Astro Mike Ganis aka Mike In DA

Date Posted: 06-03-2010

I’m sure you’ve seen or heard some or all of those cute and funny “Dos Equis” TV and radio commercials and billboards about the “most interesting man in the world”. It's similar to those famous Chuck Norris one liners.
For example, here are a sample of the quotes about the "Most Interesting Man in the World":

He has never lost a sock.

He has been known to cure narcolepsy, just by walking into the room.

His organ donation card, also lists his beard.

He’s a lover, not a fighter, but he’s also a fighter, so don’t get any ideas.

When it is raining, it is because he is sad.

Even his parents’ advice is insightful.

His shirts never wrinkle.

He is left-handed. And right-handed.

Even if he forgets to put postage on his mail, it gets there.

He once knew a call was a wrong number, even though the person on the other end wouldn’t admit it.

You can see his charisma from space.

The police often question him, just because they find him interesting.

If a monument was built in his honor, Mt. Rushmore would close, due to poor attendance.

His beard alone has experienced more than a lesser man’s entire body.

His blood smells like cologne.

On every continent in the world, there is a sandwich named after him.

He doesn’t believe in using oven mitts, nor potholders.

His cereal never gets soggy. It sits there, staying crispy, just for him.

His pillow talk is years ahead of its time.

Respected archaeologists fight over his discarded apple cores.

He speaks fluent French, in Russian.

He once had an awkward moment, just to see how it feels.

He lives vicariously through himself.

His personality is so magnetic, he is unable to carry credit cards.

Every time he goes for a swim, Dolphins appear.

I can go on and on, but I'm sure you get the message already how interesting this gentleman is, but Houston has its own most interesting man. It’s the “Most Interesting Man in the Hood".

If you think the grey-bearded gentleman is impressive, you ain't seen or heard  nothing yet. For example, here is a brief sampling of the quotes about our own “Most Interesting Man in the Hood":

Birds have never defecated on his cars or trucks.

When he visited Africa, the natives carved a statue of him.

He won the Texas hold ‘em world championship with just one card.

He was one of the few who respected Rodney Dangerfield.

He once refused an offer from Don Corleone – five times.

His Guardian Angel quit because he never needed protection.

Tear gas makes him laugh.

His farts and shit don’t stink

Upon graduating from high school, he submitted an application to become a Navy Seal and found out he already was one.

Happy Hour for him is the hour after everyone from "happy hour" has left.

He says more when he is quiet than most say in a lifetime.

His middle-school teachers raised their hands to ask him questions.

The Abominable Snowman and Loch Ness Monster think he is a myth.

People with amnesia and Alzheimer’s always remember him.

The Internet searches him.

When there’s a fire in the building, he takes the elevator.

He picks up chicks simply by literally picking them up.

A jury once found him Guilty, of being Innocent.

ESPN’s daily Top 10 plays are highlights of what he does during the first hour after he wakes up in the morning.

He once buried a time capsule full of things that haven’t even happened yet.

If he disagrees with you, you know you are wrong.

He taught his pit bull to read and answer his e-mail for him.

He found Noah’s Ark while fishing on Matagorda Bay and used the wood for a campfire.

He doesn’t just taste fear… he orders seconds of it.

He doesn’t obey the law; the law obeys him.

He is the only person to ever get a perfect score on the Wonderlic Test.

He once showed up to court, to decide his own verdict.

His credit card company owes him money.

He knows Victoria’s Secret.

President Obama always uses the red phone as a direct contact for his advice.

President Reagan once took a bullet for him on a failed assassination attempt.

He once gave an autograph in sign language.

If he tells you a “yo momma” joke, you may never want to see your mom ever again.

He once climbed Mt. Everest, just to get some fresh air.

When he asks for wine, the red wine blushes and turns pink.

Wherever he travels, any carpet he walks on turns red.

He rarely wears shoes, as his feet cannot be contained.

His teeth never need to be brushed. Ever.

He’s the only one who can speak in tongues – and be understood.

When he gambles in Vegas, the house never wins.

Superman takes off his cape in his presence

He gives a blessing to the Pope, who then recites it to the people in Vatican Square .

He never has an exit strategy. He knows where the door is.

Years ago, when he was in pre-school, he created a city out of building blocks. Today, 40 years later, over a half-million people live and work there.

Alien abductors have asked him to probe them.

He’s never met anyone with more perfect skin than his.

He can operate three speedboats – at once.

His bedroom ability is so legendary, it’s been known that a room full of women have achieved orgasm by him just walking in.

(To be continued.)

Astro Mike Ganis aka Mike In DA

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1 comment:

Earlis said...

Who is this masked errr...badazz man..

Can he rebuild a baseball team with a
farm in deep drought?

Make champagne from school-boy scotch

oh congrats to LaMont if I understood him correct
he is the proud poppa of a houston area graduate!
Eat your heart out deadbeat dad's...

Speaking of balls Mike you got a recipe for souled up gonads
for the "great white father of baseball" ?
He jumps into a allstar game and makes a move
in a game that should not count but would not
pick up a phone last nite and save history from travesty!
I say test his azz.. Make him drop his damn pants
...medic!! Tiny balls? Hell I knew he was juicing..
Thank god he can't buy the Astro's