THE MOST INTERESTING MAN IN THE HOOD! – PART 2
Written by: Astro Mike Ganis aka Mike In DA
Date Posted: 7/15/2010
I’m sure you’ve seen or heard some or all of those cute and funny “Dos Equis” TV and radio commercials and billboards about the “most interesting man in the world”. It's similar to those famous Chuck Norris one liners.
For example, here are a sample of the most recent quotes about the "Most Interesting Man in the World":
He has served as best man for grooms he's never met.
He strongly abides by the motto: "Safety third."
His garden maze is responsible for more missing persons than the Bermuda Triangle.
Even watching him sleep has been described as breathtaking.
He's never needed lip balm.
He went to a psychic once...to warn her.
He doesn't listen much to sports talk radio, but when he does, he listens to 1560 THE GAME.
I can go on and on by googling, but I'm sure you got the message already how interesting this gentleman is, but Houston has its own most interesting man. It’s the “Most Interesting Man in the Hood".
If you think the grey-bearded gentleman is impressive, you ain't seen or heard nothing yet. In addition to the quotes about "The Most Interesting Man in the Hood" listed here on June 3, here are some additional quotes about him:
"The Most Interesting Man in the World" is a fictional gay character portrayed by a friend of my brother; "The Most Interesting Man in the Hood" is a real character who is a friend and is a brotha.
He isn't afraid of the dark; the dark is afraid of him.
When HPD stops him, he doesn't step away from the vehicle; the vehicle steps away from him.
He didn't wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.
In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records, it notes that all individual world records are held by him, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
There is no theory of evolution; just a list of things he has allowed to live.
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq; he lives in Texas.
Shoes wish to be worn by him.
He taught Michael Jordan how to be like Mike.
He goes to the Super Bowl… just to be watched.
He once drowned some fish.
He has undeniable proof 2+2 does not = 4.
He once shot down an enemy plane by pointing at it and yelling "BANG".
He walked into McDonald's and ordered a Whopper; he got one.
He doesn't chop down trees; trees fall in fear of him.
His golf score is always 17.
His smile made a tree grow at the North Pole.
He tells the cable company what time to come.
He has been to the end of the rainbow and confirmed that there is no pot of gold, but some really good pot.
He built Rome in half a day.
His five o clock shadow shows up early, so it doesn’t disappoint him.
He is the reason why Osama Bin Laden is hiding.
He doesn’t pee in public because it would cause a flash flood.
When he calls sports talk shows, he goes ahead of the ladies.
When he walks into a room, hot women disrobe.
His DNA is the main ingredient in Viagra.
When he goes to a strip club, strippers dance on his pole.
He always has sex on the first date. Always.
He doesn't consider it good sex, if the woman lives.
When he was a teenager, he once impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the Himalaya mountains. Nine months later, the nuns all gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in NFL history.
A burglar who went to his house hasn't been seen since.
He invented a time machine and went back to just before when JFK was shot. He jumped in front of the bullets and shattered them all with his fist. JFK died out of pure amazement.
He was once walking along the Sahara Desert when he decided he needed shelter from the sun. So he stared at the sand until it melted into 2 ton blocks. He then made his shelter which we now call the Great Pyramids.
He was not allowed to be a part of the NFL or NHL for fear that too many deaths would occur.
If you hear a sonic boom in the hood, it is not a jet plane flying overhead; it's his orgasms.
He wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.
There is no such thing as a Lesbian; there are just girls who haven't met him.
He sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus’ birthday. Jesus was too scared to correct him, so to this day, December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday.
He once won a six-day bike race on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire.
Multiple people have died from him giving them the finger.
He sees evil, speaks evil, and hears evil.
Most people put their pants on one leg at a time, he does both legs at once.
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