Monday, August 2, 2010


Written by: Lamont Mann


The one thing I have learned in life is, any situation you are going through, relate it to "The Godfather. Contrary to popular belief, "The Godfather is not about violence, but it’s about family facing adversities. Through the trials, the family always seems to pull together as the other four families are mounting an attack led by Don Barzini. Well that’s Hollywood’s version, my version is a tad bit unorthodox as this family doesn’t care about anything, but retaining a job. Follow me as I cast the Godfather with the personalities of SR610.

The Godfather – Brian Purdy

He is the supposed Don of the Family, but has very little to say. Whatever he says, goes. No one will ever speak ill of him and if they do, it will be hell to pay. Publicly, you will see or hear very little of this individual as he sits back and observes. Only during major events like his daughter’s wedding will you ever see him let loose (Monday Night Football Game).

Michael Corleone – Gavin Spittle

A kid fresh from war (Las Vegas and Dallas) really doesn’t care to be wrapped in the day to day business of the Family but he is ultimately forced to. Michael is much like his dad, very low key, but demands respect and will jump out with bold initiatives. He does not want to remain status quo, as he wants to push the family in a valid direction. Michael also realizes, he must remove his threats. Quickly, as he comes into power, he removes threats at will. He is always sitting and observing, but please do not ever think he’s not paying attention to his surroundings. Please do not confuse Michael as a “point and order” as he will get down and do the dirty work (physically assisting helping hands with remote shows) himself hence Capt. McCluskey.

Barry Warner – Santino “Sonny” Corleone

Santino is a hot-head and ready to jump into the business feet first. Sonny is the life of the party (Fan Fest), but will commonly allow his emotions to get the best of him as they will prove to be wrong in the end. Sonny is what we like to call the “MUSCLE” of the Family but he’s not quite ready to run a “FAMILY”; he is best suited as an enforcer. Made men with a little bit more duration of the “FAMILY” constantly correct him in the family operations because he flies off “half cocked” without clearly thinking out situations.

Alfredo “Fredo” Corleone – Kyle Kennedy

Alfredo in this portion of the movie is basically a little peon to the “Major Players”. I mean outside of allowing his pops to get shot-up in front of him, he really has no use to the movie. After Michael takes the rein of the family, he sends Fredo on some meaningless job to Vegas (Dan interviewing in the field). Michael knows this is nothing in the grand scheme of things, but he knows he has to have his blood line in the loop, but Fredo goes to Las Vegas and loses focus which would be the beginning of the end for him.

Peter Clemenza – John McClain

Peter is old school and has came through the ranks with Don Vito, but he has one little problem. Peter seems to trust Paulie (Texan sources) and this one fault proved to be almost tragic for the Family. Peter does what he has to do with Paulie by “offing” him. Quick, decisive, and efficient as he moves along, as if nothing happened. Peter is not going to rock the boat because he knows his days are numbered and it’s a miracle he is still part of the “FAMILY” after the Paulie incident. It’s odd in the movie, Clemenza was cooking some food and Michael was talking to Kay and Clemenza was giving Michael advice on women. Clemenza got mad game with the ladies.

Jack Woltz – Andre Ware

Jack Woltz aint no punk and he’s not afraid of the mobsters. What can you say about Jack? Dude has money as well as danced with the best of them, but he does not realize he’s dealing with a family so powerful that even horse heads are in play. He tried to “buck the family” and was made an example via a bloody bed.

Bonaseri the Florist – Robert Henslee

A guy that’s completely out of his element (sports director), as he is trying to hang with the tough guys. Ultimately this guy is a supreme coward, as he doesn’t want to do the dirty work himself, but rather bitch up to the Godfather for his assistance. The only service he rendered in the movie was preparing one of the Godfather’s son in death.

Kay Adams – Rich Lord

This chick here is blind as a “betsy bug”. She wants to be relevant, but she’s not. Michael is steadily pumping her with family information and she is still complaining (complaining about the 2-7pm schedule) about the family business. She just don’t understand why the Corleone family has to do business the way they do and true to form, she gets what a whining broad gets in a mafia movie in 1972, LEFT FOR A WOMAN IN ITALY. Although Kay is a bitch, she remains loyal and hangs around until later sequels where she is completely irrelevant to the family.

Tom Hagen – N.D. Kalu

Tom is constantly reminded that he is not the right ethnicity for the family, but The Godfather has been raising him since he was a kid. Mr. Smooth, the one person in the family that tries to look at all angles and remain objective. Money and positioning is always on Tom’s mind. He’s not really trying to get caught up in the family business, he just wants to make the whole ordeal flow smoothly. No one in the family really trusts Tom because well he’s not quite an Italian like them, therefore he will never be exactly “one of the guys”, but he plays the game to his advantage.

Sal Tessio – Lance Zierlein

Look at him, just look at him. He is all quite mythical and illusive. One of the most influential men in the family with a low profile, but always there to provide insight and meanings to obscure mob references, but little does the “FAMILY” know, he has other plans. His heart is not aligned with the FAMILY and the minute he has the chance, he will betray them, and oh yeah, he plays the role perfect, making everyone think he’s a diehard because of his longevity in the family, but he is only picking his time to strike.

Don Barzini – John Granato

Don Barzini is one of the Bosses secretly pulling the strings in the assassination of the Godfather. He doesn't really do any work, but he is there. Of the five bosses of the commission, he is the one that wants to take full control and remove the Godfather. He is tired of the days of old, as he is moving forward progressively. He does not like the fact that the Godfather garners the politicians and judges and it’s unfair for the Godfather not to share the resources, therefore he is drawing his line in the sand.

Carlo Rizzi – Adam Clanton

This guy has a serious problem with women. He’s a real tough guy that likes to beat on women and insult them. After receiving a severe ass whooping and warned not to do it again, he goes and does it again. To add insult to injury, he tries to betray the family and that’s when Michael had to do him in.

Connie Rizzi – Marc Vandermeer

This woman is a human punching bag. She will take as many shots as you can throw at her. Occasionally, she will raise her voice but ultimately she gets slapped around again. I actually feel kind of sorry for her because she’s helpless without the support of her family. What’s really insane about this chick is, Carlos beats her up and she takes up for Carlo. She lied to Sonny and practically begged Michael not to kill Carlo, but Michael doesn’t play. She brought nothing to the movie for me and plus she was skinny and awkward looking with a volleyball for a baby in her stomach.

Moe Green – Craig Shelton

Moe Green is a lot like Jack Woltz. Jack is a guy that’s not going to take the family’s crap. He stood up to the family and even had some of the Family backing him. He is a self-made Las Vegas hustler, but when word got back to Michael, that’s when Moe’s troubles began. Quick and decisive he was stiffed while getting a massage.

Johnny Fontaine – Josh Innes

Pure Hollywood, this guy is no Mobster (sports), he would just like to use the Mob (sports) to achieve another star role. He is all flamboyant and above the FAMILY until he needs them to get him out of a jam. Once he gets on top, the only time the family will hear from him again is probably at an awards show.

Luca Brasi – John Lopez

Luca is a pit-bull that gets murdered while trying to be sneaky. Luca Brasi has one little problem, he is too freaking obvious as well as the situation Don Corleone placed him in.

Solozzo The Turk – Lamont Mann

A wonderful gentleman that came in and tried to play by the rules of the Family until he realizes this family is dumb (kissing the Texan’s butt). Solozzo is tired of the same ole thing (bits and non-sports talk) and he wants to get into other criminal enterprises that are a little more dangerous (edgy topics) than what the Family is accustomed to. Solozzo once an admirer of the Family has now turned into a foe, as he begin to divide and conquer. He comes close to changing Tom Hagen, but he is met with a bullet to the dome by Michael.

Don “Back Home in Sicily” – Mike In DA

Throughout the Godfather series, occasionally they would always return to Sicily for insight. For some reason, guys that lived in the mountain in a remote location seemed to know all of the information transpiring in Las Vegas and New York City. These guys were known for their vast amount of wisdom and information. They are strict tradionalist and it’s hard to shake their foundation.

Lamont Mann
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Kyle "Fredo Corleone" Kennedy said...

Come on Lamont! As much as I love Vegas, why I gotta be Fredo? I'm never going fishing with you on Lake Tahoe buddy! LOL! Great stuff as always was LMAO reading this column! Keep up the great work & tell Craig to either use his real name when calling ND & I on Sundays or find out who is impersonating him. LOL!

Sean in Sugarland said...

I think you guys could have nailed it if you would have cast'd Rich Lord as the Fat Wife of the Godfather, she's irrelevant to the movie sort of like Rich is to KILT