COMMENTS FROM THE PEANUT GALLERY!
Written by: Mike in DA
Date posted: 9/9/2010
SUNDAY IS A "WHITEOUT DAY" FOR THE TEXANS!
The Texans are asking fans to wear white at this Sunday's (9/12) home game vs. the Colts. To me wearing white is a sign of surrender. Chalk up a win for the Colts. Also, expect an increase in white Texan jersey sales in the days preceding the game.
THE MOUNTAINEERS ARE GOING TO WAR?
The marketing people at Nike are at it again, as they want to dress West Virginia, which normally wears blue and gold, in black “Nike Combat” uniforms for the Mountaineers’ nationally televised November 26 game at Pittsburgh. Nike and WVU explain the uniform design as a salute to the region’s recently killed coal miners. Yeah, right.
Last year, when Nike put Florida State, which usually wears garnet and gold, in “Nike Combat” black, the school and Nike explained it as a salute to the region’s Seminole tribes. Florida State coach Bobby Bowden said that was nonsense, explaining that FSU was only acting on Nike’s orders.
JOSH HAS BEEN PAYING ATTENTION TO HMW!
On his Wednesday (9/8) morning show on SR610, Josh Innes was talking about Reggie Bush and the possibility that he may be forced to return his Heisman Trophy to the Heisman Trust (whatever the heck that is). In his monologue, Josh got to talking about another past Heisman winner, Paul Hornung, who played for the Green Bay Packers from 1957-62, and 1964-66.
In 1963, a betting scandal was uncovered and Hornung and another of the league's top players, Alex Karras of the Detroit Lions, were suspended from football indefinitely by commissioner Pete Rozelle for betting on NFL games and associating with "undesirable" persons like "Three Fingers" Antonelli, "Milwaukee Phil", Lou "The Wolf" Lupo, and Joey "The Barber" Barbera, just to name a few.
In admitting to his mistake, Hornung's image went relatively untarnished (did you hear that Roger Clemens?), and in 1964 his suspension, and Karras', were re-evaluated by the NFL. Both returned for the 1964 season.
Josh wasn’t sure how long the penalty was for Hornung (i.e., full banishment, a year, etc.). Normally, Josh would just go on without following up on it. But this day, when he came back after the break, he told us Hornung was suspended for a year. Josh said he didn’t want to give out any "erroneous" information.
Way to go, Josh! Maybe other local sports talk hosts will take a clue from Josh and finish what they start.
A REAL "SHOT HEARD 'ROUND THE WORLD"!
People are always picking on New York and Philadelphia fans as rough, tough, mean, animalistic crowds. Maybe they are, but that's according to US standards. However, you have to look at the entire world to recognize that New York and Philly fans are pansies compared to the worst in the rest of the world.
Something that I think our local sports talkers may have missed was an incident in Caracas, Venezuela, a few weeks ago during one of the games in the Women’s Baseball World Cup, which is held in even-numbered years. Here is what the AP had to say about the incident:
“A Hong Kong player (pictured left) was hit in the leg by a stray bullet at the women’s baseball world championship on Friday, forcing the suspension of matches and increased security for other teams.”
The officials suspended the games for the rest of that day while police investigated the incident. It is interesting to know that the game took place on the grounds of a military base (Fort Tiuna). If security at a military base is insufficient to avoid the potential for gunplay during a women’s baseball game, where in Venezuela might security be adequate?
The report said the woman was hit by a “stray bullet” meaning that it was fired without any intention of injuring any of the players in the game? Doesn’t that make you feel better?
As a result of the incident, Hong Kong pulled out of the tournament, which was won by Japan. The US team came in third place.
Another one of my pet peeves about local radio, especially on SR610 during the weekends is when the hosts concoct a topic like, “Who will have a better season, Vince Young or Matt Schaub?" Then they will debate it and ask the listeners to chime in. Stuff like that is not a talking point; that's just filler to keep fools occupied.
Concocting an issue and then arguing it is the ESPN method of filling time. If I want concocted debates, I'll watch "Pardon the Interruption", "Around the Horn", "First and Ten", "Sports Nation", etc. Those debates are well-researched unlike the debates on local radio.
MATT LEINART TEMPORARILY SAVED FROM JOINING NFL DRAFT BUST TEAM!
ONLY TIME SPORTS TALKERS WILL GET INTERESTED IN TEAM USA IS IF THEY LOSE!
With the commencement of the 2010 NFL and college football seasons, local sports talk has been pretty quiet regarding Team USA and the World Basketball Championships. Team USA wins fail to generate any interest in the team here. But as soon as they lose the phones will open up to rip Kevin Durant, Derrick Rose, Lamar Odom, Coach K, Team USA exec, Jerry Colangelo, etc. If and when they lose, the team will be called lazy and pitiful and some other adjectives with negative connotations and of course, the fact that the best players weren’t there will be brought up.
FROM THE MAILBAG:
This is what they’ve been saying about Rich Lord of SportsRadio 610 (2-7 PM, daily). Names have been omitted to protect the innocent:
“How Rich Lord still has a job in sports radio is beyond me.”
"Rich Lord has regressed. I dont even think he like sports anymore. Any chance he gets to waste time and talk about movies, etc., he does. Rich should be moved out."
"Rich Lord knows more about the Yankees, Springsteen, Dayton, OH, and what Vince Young's jock smells like than he does about Houston sports.”
QUOTES YOU MAY HAVE MISSED (SP)
Here are some quotes that you may have missed from the past week, courtesy of the Pickle:
“We are not asking Reggie Bush to give his Heisman Trophy back. However, we would totally be up for it if Gino Torretta wants to return his.” - Heisman Trust president
“If you want my freakin' Heisman, you'll have to catch me first! On second thought forget that. I forgot I'm not as elusive as I once was in college”. - Reggie Bush
“My suspension has been reduced from six to four games. Who wants to join me in Milledgeville, to celebrate? - Ben Roethlisberger
“I think Aroldis Chapman has a chance to go down in history. Like, when his elbow blows out, I think it will actually explode. - Dusty Baker
“Yes, Mark Ingram has had knee surgery. And, yes, I will now leave Alabama for another job.” - Nick Saban
“I am excited as hell to remain as head coach of U.S. soccer. In 2014, I hope to lead Team USA on another magical run all the way to the second round of the World Cup.” - Bob Bradley
“I want to get custody of the Dodgers in the spring and summer. My ex-wife can have them in the offseason. - Frank McCourt
“I am sad about getting divorced. Now I have no one to make me a sandwich when I come home from a long night of adultery.” - Tiger Woods
FLUB OF THE DAY!
This week on 1560 KGOW there was a promo for the Friday night high school football game on that station between Strake Jesuit and The Woodlands. In the promo, the announcer referred to Strake as “#1 Strake Jesuit”. In their mothers’ hearts they may be #1 or at the intersection of Bellaire Blvd. and Gessner they may be #1, but that’s about it. The last time I looked they lost at home to unranked Dallas Jesuit, 44-24, and whoever wrote that promo is either a comedian or is very misinformed because Strake is lucky to be a .500 team this season.
“WE GOT NEXT”: THIS IS “FANTASY FOOTBALL” AT ITS BEST!
For all you loyal lingerie football fans, in case you missed it, the Lingerie Football League (LFL) will be telecasting its games on Friday nights this season. The LFL commenced its 2010 season almost two weeks ago and will continue through Lingerie Bowl VIII in Las Vegas, which will be played on Super Bowl Sunday while that game is having its halftime festivities. The Los Angeles Temptation are defending LFL champs after defeating the Chicago Bliss in Lingerie Bowl VII, 27-14, last February.
If you check through the “sports channels” on your cable system, you will not find the telecast, so as a courtesy I’ll tell you where it is so you can record it for future viewing. It will be carried on MTV-2 at 11:00 PM EDT. The games will be on tape and in its condensed version. Unfortunately, the Crier hasn’t been able to find a Vegas line for any of these games.
For those not familiar with this type of “fantasy” football, the LFL has ten teams and bills itself as: “True Fantasy Football”. The Eastern Conference consists of the Chicago Bliss, Miami Caliente, New York Majesty, Philadelphia Passion, and the Tampa Breeze. The Western Conference consists of the Dallas Desire, Denver Dream, Los Angeles Temptation, San Diego Seduction, and the Seattle Mist. If the league expands next season, I’d love the Charlotte Harlots and Portland Porn Stars to join in.
If you’ve never seen a lingerie game, the style of play is full-contact similar to other indoor football leagues. The unis consist of shoulder pads, elbow pads, knee pads, garters, matching bras and panties, and ice hockey-style helmets with clear plastic visors instead of face masks.
There are no field goals and no punts. There is a kickoff to start the game and second half. A team must attempt to get a first down on every fourth down. After a touchdown, a team can attempt a one-point conversion from the two yard line, or a two-point conversion from the five-yard line.
Seven women play on each side. Team rosters consist of 20 players, only 14 of whom are active on game day. This means that there are usually 2 to 4 players who go both ways (I mean play both offense and defense).
The offense consists of a quarterback, two running backs, a center, and three wide receivers. The defense has two defensive linewomen, two linebackers, two cornerbacks, and a safety.
The field is 50-yards long between the end zones, 30 yards wide, and the end zones are 8 yards deep.
A game consists of two 17-minute halves, separated by a 15-minute halftime to freshen up. In case of a tie, an 8-minute sudden-death overtime is played.
Since they don't wear jerseys, their uniform numbers are on the bottom of their panties and over their left breast. I'm sure there will be spectators rooting for wardrobe malfunctions at the game.
Some of the players on my “fantasy” team are Saran Dunmore (Chicago Bliss, above left) Elizabeth Gorman (Tampa Breeze), Gabrielle Marie (Dallas Desire, below left), Erin Marie Garrett, (Dallas Desire, above right) and my favorite player, Riley Maddex (Los Angeles Temptation, below right).
There you have the LFL in a nutshell. By the way, whatever happened to that Houston franchise that was supposed to play here?
Mike in DA
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