Sunday, August 7, 2011




I decided to finally watch the Sopranos HBO series.  As I watched the series I instantly thought to myself, "how would the Houston Sports Media cast in this series"? On my recent vacation to New York City, I got a chance to see some of the scene spots shot in the movie. Lets go.

Ralph Cooper (1430) - Jackie Aprile.  While acting head he has spawn alot of followers to enhance and improve the game. Everyone respects him. Cancer

Lance Zierlein (1560) - Tony Soprano.  Tony a man in my opinion with multiple personalities.  We all know Lance is big in the baby department hence, "he's giving".  Now who is more given than Tony?  Every other episode dude was on it. A decisive carnivore when it comes to his craft. SURVIVES, MAYBE?

Matt Thomas (790) - Silvio Dante
Can you see Matt Thomas driving Dylan Gwinn to the Palisades for talking to the feds?  You know Lance and Matt go way back and who else can you see spitting game as the concierge to Lance about the street climate and rules to the game? Hospitalized

Josh Innes (610) - Paulie Walnuts
Wild and down for it all.  Has a problem with authority but ultimately knows he needs to play the game by the rules.  Yea yea yea, I know Lance would be a perfect fit with the hair thingy going but for this blog, it's Josh.  Remember how Paulie use to 
pick on Christopher?  Isn't this Josh and Mike Meltser?  Just a nervous old grouch that kept the show going with left field humor.  Paulie was the type of comedy you could appreciate because you knew his character. Survived

Sean Pendergast (1560) - Christopher "Chrissy" Moltisanti Look at him eyeing the prize, he know he wants to eventually get there but the vices in his life will never allow him to be in a top position. Capo is your plateau.  Chrissy is the buck wild youngen but often times frey away from the fam and do his own thing.  Isn't this Sean in a nutshell?  Listening to Sean you really don't get the vibe he's locked in with all the other stuff people are doing in his surroundings.  Wacked

Barry Warner (610) - Junior Soprano
Ok without obvious dementia traits, Barry is Junior just because this is so damn funny.  Junior knows everybody and he was once on top (figuratively)  but in his old age done lost his damn mind.  He fell off major. Crazy House

John Lopez (610) - Salvatore 'Big Pussy' Bonpensiero 

Been in the game for a long time, "made guy". He's not a rooty poo but he is not ready for the big time as he switch hits with the feds.  I never trust that giggling from JLO and more importantly he's a real journalist (made), he knows the rules and what his actions may bring but he's willing to be a snitch. Wacked

Charlie Pallilo (790) - Dr. Melphi
Cool, Calm Collected.  Just laid back and calmly dissecting problems at ease while Tony hits her with names unspeakable for HMW.  She got raped and came back stronger in her capacity as a shrink, HELLO Pallilo leaving 610 with legal issues and got broke off and now he's arguably the class of Drive Time. Survived

John Granato (1560) - Carmela Soprano
Money hungry complaining person with only the best intentions at heart.  Ultimately she cares about her family and she know her family is a tad unorthodox but she's willing to stick it out and it serves her selfish needs for money and material items. Survived

Matt Jackson (790) - A.J. Soprano
Not only do they bare a striking resemblance but both are equally annoying at times.  Sometimes you feel AJ got it together and he's finally going to positioned himself for family business then boom, he's crying over a woman. Survived

Marc Vandermeer (610) - Meadow Soprano
Free wild spirit.  This chic has ventured out outside the race in the race.  She just a pesty bug. Survived

John Harris (1560) - Agent Harris
Once in the midst of all of the action now banished to the terrorism division.  Although he's removed from the front line action, he still seems to linger around like a wet fart. Survived

Adam Wexler (790) - Ralph Cifaretto
Arrogant, pompous prick.  This guy is a hot head one minute and a likable guy the next.  He wants to be the man but his attitude is so damn off, it's virtually impossible. What he allowed Janice to do to him was criminal. Wacked

Brien Straw (610) - Janice Soprano
Straight up free thinking tree hugging liberal.  Her character is one of not taking shit in addition to having a volatile personality.  She will not stand down to an argument and will shoot you if you slap her. Survived

JOHN McClain (Chronicle) - 

Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni

A voice of reason who is known to play on both families (NY/NJ).  This guy seems to be in the loop in any and everything and he's highly regarded in the circles he runs with. Cancer Dead

Marcus Coleman (1430) - Hesh
Somewhat a Jewish consultant to the family.  Sits back and evaluate the game but later has his problems with Tony. He's in the mix but not really in the mix, FEEL ME? Tony sees fit to use Hesh when it's to his benefit.  Survived

Rich Lord (610) - Vito Spatafore
Cool, laid back and a CASH COW.  Hated by all of his peers because he was exposed as a closet homosexual.  Although he's a homosexual, the head of the family is having a problem with wacking him as he believe there are other homosexuals in the Mafia. Instead of killing him by way of a severe beating and a pole stick up the "Helium Hole", I think they should have simply let him retire. This guy use to be really fat but suddenly lost weight however he was still fat. Death by Pole Stick

David Nuno (1560) - Furio Giunta
Pretty Boy Floyd, he comes and sweeps the cougars off their feet.  Short stay and ultimately return to his true origins. Fled

Craig Shelton (1430) - Phil Leotardo 
This dude is the biggest hot head.  Almost two years after his brother got wacked and an agreed upon truce he still harvest the feelings. Dude agrees to give up being the boss of the family and later changes his mind to be followed with him wanting to wack anything in his sight.  What really makes this guy Lesbian Craig is what he did to VITO.  One day I will release the audio of Lesbian Craig v Rich Lord at hooters. WACKED

Anna Megan Raley (610) - Adrianna La Cerva
Look at her, working with John one moment with 610 the next.  HELLO.  Adrianna flipping on Christopher.  In addition to the flipping of sides they sort of look alike in a strange way. WACKED

Artie Bucco - Lamont Mann (HMW)
A dude that's truly displaced in all of this media stuff, just a dude that want to tell some jokes and cook.  Dude is a beast on the food and plus he can make some awesome RIBS.  This dude is clueless about the business at hand but he's cool with a MADE guy. Survived

Bobby Baccalieri

 - Mike In DA (HMW)
Come, cool collected but a Made guy.  Later years in the season, he shows how fierce he can be.  He and Janice's relationship is strange to say the least.  Bobby learned from Junior so he's very OLD SCHOOL. WACKED

Greg Koch (610) - Tony Blundetto
Cool ass dude that was in the game but got locked up and decided to take a different path however the life is calling him.  He's a vicious beast and will prove to be so but his life is short lived. Wacked

Angelo Lawford (HMW) - 

Richie Aprile

Dude has been sitting in the CUT observing.  Watching the dynamics of everything but when he's released, ALL HELL breaks loose. WACKED

N.D. Kalu (610)  - 

Father Phil Intintola

Plain and simple, a guy trying to play both sides, wants to get with Carmella but that's not him because he's a priest.  Sure he drinks the wine, hug and kiss her but he ain't going to stang. Survived

JO (HMW)  - 
Jackie Aprile Jr
Wild and loose cannon down for it all and ready to dig in at the drop of a dime. Wacked

The most annoying person of the series(seasons 1-3) but she serves a purpose in setting up the story of the family.  She comes off as aloof but she's very well informed on what's going on around her.  She constantly complains and talks about her old age (Raheel's Race Talk) and how she is not loved. Blah blah blah, cry me a river. DEAD

There you have it, The Houston Sopranos. Let me know if I miscast ed or left anyone out that should have been included.


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