Sunday, October 14, 2012


By: LM

When I say "Imma tell ya something, yo moma won't love", you better act like you know.  This is really a fun post and I suspect this trend is going on around America in football cities.

Remember back in the 90s when Milli Vanilli got busted for lip-singing?  Hell the busted part was not bad because they were long  forgotten but what happen afterwards is what most remember.  These fools tried to make a come back and actually sing.  It was an utter fail.

People I have been listening to Sports Talk for some time now therefore I am professionally qualified to speak on this matter.  This year I am hearing some new styles and lingo in people's on air rhetoric.  Is it me or do you hear more and more personalities trying to talk football Xs and Os?

But just like Milli Vanilli, once you hear that crap, it makes no sense at all.  It has no flow and ultimately makes the host look more like a jackass.

I will not name drop just yet but lets get to the culprit.  What has brought on this miraculous change in delivery in radio and print media?  I would like to pat myself and HMW on the back and say, we have been bitching about this (no football Xs & Os) for 3 years, but we can't take credit for the style that's sweeping the City of Houston.  OH YES, I know who the culprit is.  Say hello to NFL Rewind .  I was always wondering what NFL Rewind would do from a fan stand point but I never ever considered unintended consequences of the media.

If you do not know, NFL Rewind (or some variation) is an online service provided by the NFL to view every game for the past 3 years in condensed or full mode.  In addition to, they have different packages you can order.  I have the middle package (frugal) at $39.99 but I hear the big package at $59 includes many more features.  It's a must have service especially during the NFL off season but nevertheless that's where all of these "sudden media coaches" are developed.

I guess I really can't bust their balls for going to Football Tutorial,  at least they are talking sports.  However the shit just sounds  funny to hear cats I know who don't know what they are saying when trying to talk to deliver Xs and Os.  With that said, I feel it's my duty to let you know the media in Houston I respect in Football, if they are not on this list, chances are, they are logging in to NFL Rewind as we speak.

Craig Shelton (1430) - Strength is definitely  talking to people with basic to intermediate knowledge of sports because they will typically focus on the positions they played, he can talk the positions you are unfamiliar with.  I don't see him as a person developing schemes but I know he understands them.  Probably only one of the people I know of in media who will not allow emotion to undermine his analysis of a play or outcome of a game.

Lance Zierlein (790) - Big assert is his ability to talk about so much football from different dynamics, unless you are a tool with nothing to do but fact check, you are damn near forced to believe him on face value.  Lance also has one biggie in his back pocket and that's credibility across the board.  I am not saying Lance is 100% correct on everything but College and pros you can pretty much take his word to  he bank and I am not talking about gambling or fantasy football.

John Harris (Yahoo Sports) -  This guy is probably Houston best football secret but some how he's hidden in the wrong time slot in my opinion.  I never heard a person who's memory and knowledge is so vast that I feel it's almost a negative in radio delivery.  When In think of John Harris, I think of football Rain Man (Dustin Hoffman).  He talks from a coaching point of view and you can find yourself lost in the information.

ND Kalu (790) -  All defense all the time.  Can tell you about different schemes and blitz you are not familiar with but his one flaw is, he desperately tries not to show it.  Sure on 610, that may be the protocol to not talk sports but he has his own show now and basically he can swing for the hills in technical Football Talk.

Greg Koch (790) -  This is a strange one because sometimes I find myself wondering if Greg's era of football translates to the current era.  To be honest, I have said, I just like Greg's personality not his football IQ but every now and then Greg will give you a nugget to let you know he knows his shit to the fullest.  Like ND, I think Greg is a beast when it comes to football but i think he feels more comfortable not going there in depth.

Barry Warner (610) - Strictly personnel and historical references.  If you ever want to know how a rule or standard came into play, Barry is your guy.  He will literally walk you from the past to the present and is an archive of useless or useful facts depending on what you prefer.  Barry Warner also happens to be an astute evaluator of Line Play.

Seth Payne (610) -  This guy here is a late bloomer (media) but hit the pavement running.  No one had to tell him to talk football, he gets it.  I mean picture that, a guy who has played football all of his life feeling most comfortable talking football.  Again like the other former players, he talk more to his strengths which is on the defensive side of the ball.  At times, I think he slaps on the Texan Ambassador hat but I can't honestly observe this until I hear him when football is not so lovely in Houston.

Sean Pendergast (Yahoo Sports) -  College Football

Mike Meltser, Charlie Pallilo, and Adam Wexler - Strictly statistical analysis.  Guys who can make a narrative out of numbers

Patrick Starr (State of Texans) - I have only known Patrick for about year and I can't speak to his overall knowledge of football but I know for a fact he knows the Texans inside and out.  If I have some obscure wacky reference I am trying to remember in regards to the Texans, I'm hitting Patrick.  I am almost willing to put him up against Marc Vandermeer for Texans Encyclopedia Award.  I will also give him his card on Xs and Os

Two things these gentleman have in common.
1.  I feel like I am actually learning something I didn't know
2.  They all can talk Line Play

Yep you have it, when I hear a person talk about the defensive and offensive line, I instantly put them somewhere above the rest because you have to be a football junkie to be interested in a unit of the game most think is a meaningless subject unless it's incredibly good or bad.


People I think my Football Round-table  is dead on and I know for a fact these guys are not going through a fast track NFL Rewind Tutorial.

We are at the beginning but as these different services for Football or hell any sport, expect to hear more of your media trying to convey it to their audience.

When you can get to the point where I feel listening to your football takes in "Real time", I may include you in my round table.  Please don't Milli Vanilli your fans.




Anonymous said...

i agree with the entire article...


cxd said...

Orignally I thought it was Kalu and Koch that spooked other radio hosts into learning or trying to become X & O geniuses.

cxd said...

Heard you on KCOH today Craig. My Goodness..... You truly are a football man (I'm baseball).

You were Spewing Out terminology that was WAY over my head (but it was cool sounding and enjoyable - makes me want to go out and study up some more).....

But I'm not spending any of my cash to buy another NFL channel to figure it all out. I'll use google (lol).....