Tuesday, November 2, 2010


Written By: Lamont Mann

Random Trivia:  The 90s TV series Parker Lewis Can't Lose had a character who is potrayed as Big Dumb Simpleton Jock.  Do you care to guess that what was the name of that character?  You got it, KUBIAK


I have to say sorry to HMW affiliate Sean because he normally write about the Texans.  For the most part, I try to refrain from writing about the Texans because that's my team.  I live and die with the Texans.  No I have not been to every game and no I have not be a season ticket holder since it's inception but I love football and I love the Texans.   What I seen last night on TV has forced me to write therefore sorry Sean.


According to wikipedia, apathy is defined as
Apathy (also called impassivity or perfunctoriness) is a state of indifference, or the suppression of emotions such as concern, excitement, motivation and passion. An apathetic individual has an absence of interest in or concern about emotional, social, or physical life. He or she may exhibit an insensibility or sluggishness.
For nine years, I cannot recall ever watching a Texans game without catching a severe headache.  Even when I am at the game, I catch headaches because I am so high on emotions and I am so excited.  The night before the Texans play, I can't sleep.  Am I in the apathy state of mind?  No, I still care but there are a few games I have witnessed this year that made me want to puke. 
Last night was the first time I can remember not caring about the outcome after I seen Chacon suddenly metamorphosis into Barry Sanders.  Chacon was stop for what looked like a 15 yard loss and suddenly he breaks to the left (when I say break I mean breaking tackles) and manages to get a first down.  It was at that point, I decided to turn on my favorite TV Show Swamp People. 

Of course being a Texas Fan, I recorded the game and watched it early morning.  The good part is, I didn't have a headache last night or is it that good?


The truth of the matter is, if the Texans come out Sunday and stomp a mud hole in the Chargers, I will be drinking the coolaid again.  The State of the Texans in short is, they are playing with house money because of people like me that are the enablers.  What am I to do, drop my hometown team and adapt another team?  That's highly unlikely because I love my city.  You can't complain on the radio because Barry Warner will eat your soul if you say anything about Gary.  According to some, Gary is the best thing for the Texans. Try commenting on John McClain's blog anything negative about the Texans and you will suffer the wrath of the Hollywood movie star.  All I am left with is HMW and our 2,000 hits per day.

Over the last couple of years, I have heard callers, host and friends utter, "it all starts at the top".  Everytime I hear that phrase, I think the person making the comment is going to come with it but it usually flames out.  If the top is in reference to Rick Smiths blowing the 2010 draft or Gary Kubiak's questionable decisions then yes but what about other people behind the scenes.  One Friday I heard John McClain say according to the Pro Scouts, the Texans Secondary is not bad, they are playing good.  That statement alone is ludacris, it defies what your eyes have seen for seven games. We may want to evaluate these scouts because there is a clear disconnect in what good is perceived as.

There are three levels of coaching: building, maintaining, and winning.  Kubiak is a builder whereas Phil Jackson is a winner.  Kubiak's time has expired.  It is time for the Texans to move in a forward direction.

There are a few theories out there about Arian Foster and the organization.  Why is Kubiak taking the shine from Arian Foster.  Kubiak is the man I have heard for five years say "we need a running game".  A running game practically falls in his lap and he refuses to utilize it.  Theory (1) Gary Kubiak is trying to appease his relationship with Schaub by putting Schaub in position to look good.  Gary don't care if this position will make him look like a monkey or even if the team lose.  Theory (2) The Texans are trying to tame Arian Foster because he may demand big money during contract time.   As crazy as both of those theories sound, at this point I am willing to consider the possibilities. 

This is the one press conference of Kubiak's that I want him to say "it's all on me".  Right after he says "it's all on me", someone in the media should pour a huge bucket of Moose Shid all over him.  Lesbo believes Kubiak fits perfect for the head coaching job @ Texas A&M.  At first I thought that was smart until Monday Night and I wouldn't want the Aggies to go through this roller coaster of a coach.  I think he's better suited for Colorado or Colorado St.  Send him up there with his kids.

Amazingly a few of the bright spots were: 
  • Matt Schaub is not literally dead
  • Andre Johnson still have ankles
  • Vonta Leach is Beast Mode
  • Arian Foster continues to show us he's the truth with an amazing low amount of carries.
  • Walter or shall I say BIG MONEY WALTERS is showing me how to get paid THE BIG MONEY for NOT catching balls as a receiver.  Everyone says he does so much we don't see, hmm cool, but what's his primary job?
  • After what I witnessed in Monday Nights Game, I am 100% the Colts will not win this division. A real defense will beat them easily and the Texans will feel dumb after they see the next couple of weeks.
End Result

The Houston Texans are in a huge cluster f**k or are they?  As long as Brother Bob continues to fill that stadium shidddddddd  winning is second or maybe even third if you throw Brian Cushing in the mix.  Listen very closely because I will only say this once.  Here's what is about to happen.  Kubiak will feel this heat for 5 consecutive of him being a asshole.  In an attempt to remove the asshole tag from his game planning, he will heed everyone's advice.  Yes, you got it, he will try to run Arian Foster in these next couple of games like a damn runaway slave, but heres what's going to happen.  Foster will either get hurt or revert back to fumbling.  This will not be at the fault of Foster though, this will be the result of good defenses.  That's just the issue I hate about Kubiak, his game plan is too damn static. 

Listen Clown, it's good to have a damn game plan but once you get into the game and you notice a flaw in your opponent, your damn plan can be deviated.  No one is telling Kubiak to come in the game expecting to run on the Colts but once you clearly seen these guys could not handle Foster, you should have gave them a healthy dose.

In closing, I really wonder if Kubiak use the first half of a game to see what a team is going to do.  Goes into half time and tell the team "ITS ON NOW BOYS".

It's ashame that Kubiak robbed Arian Foster and the city of Houston of a running performance on Monday Night Football that could have possibly ranked up there with Earl Campbell Monday Night game against Miami.

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Lamont Mann

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Thomas said...

I wanted to toss my computer out of the window listening to Kubiak's presser. He did a good job side stepping questions about the lack of running. He avoided the question completely when John Granato called him out on his plan to be "balanced" when he said Kubiak is 26-8 pass on first drives.

His BFF John McClain sensed Kubiak was in trouble so "The General" took over and spent most of the time asking one softball question after another.

I can't even make any sense on how Kubiak spent two weeks coming up with that gameplan. It was like he never played the Colts before. He needs to go, the Texans will never be a legit contender with him leading this team.

Anonymous said...

You're old enough to remember Campbell's Monday night against Miami? That one was classic!

Anonymous said...

I love the Texans even tho I am losing my deposit on
a Superbowl Suite...  :)
They started of of wrong hiring Casserly
and just did not have much talent when 
Kubiak got here...at that point McNair needed to
blow the team up, he did not have the heart or the
insight to do that and we will have to wait on the level of talent
to get deeper...I still don't feel bad helI I grew in
the East Bay and damn the Giants just won the
world series! Talk about keeping hope alive now
that's long suffering my brotha..and those fans hung
in there so for me nine years ain but a drop in the bucket!
As my dad use to say.. "don't worry bout the mule goin blind". (just hold on to the lines baby)

Earlis said...

Dang how did I wind up being anonymous?
That's me Earlis posing as anonymous #3

I sense a Republican conspiracy LaMont..
But actually the real dumazz conspiring airheads
are the so called independents...these spinless
tricks will be whining for the next Ten years in a mire of their own creation..nothing like small balled suburanites in a panic..

Go Texans